scattered thoughts

i am doing something that i rarely did in my life...listen to instrumental music. because words,however good they are...tend to be having rough edges.these rough edges somewhere interrupt me

yes they interrupt me..not that i am doing something, but they don't completely mold into what i am thinking at the moment. words have a mind of their own a thought of their own and start to command the way i think and i don't want to do that now

though why i have no idea

most of the time instrumental music adjusts to you...the contours of my being, smoothly flowing over me without creating ripples or jarring me to come out of my self made cocoon.

i don't want to wake up...i don't want any movement.but slowly i believe there is something within me that wants to change and something in me is changing so that one day when i want to shed this cocoon of mine i will be able to spread my shiny wings albeit fragile and then take a leap and fly to the destination i want to.

there is a reason instrumental is pure music...vocals may be add spice to the lot but actually vocals give a particular flavour to the music, in isolation it is much more flexible.vocals bind it down, they put limitations...they give direction

i want to create something, may be end up messing my hands in learning pottery or rekindle the light to create music, may be paint using oil colours, i love the way every colour molds with the one next to it. the look of a wet sunset is almost alive in oil paint. well thats just true if i paint a sea in water colour, it would look as alive. i guess there is a particular thing one must paint in water colours and quite different themes to me...